To Love Is To Be Brave

Something that I've been thinking about, wrestling with more accurately, lately is how to have a God centered relationship. Now I'm not talking solely about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, I mean relationships in general. Like with your friends or your sibling or your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles. These kinds of core relationships everyone deals with on a daily basis.

But how do we have good relationships with them? Everyone's had issues with their family, fights with their friends. It's natural really, even in healthy relationships, to argue once in awhile. But what I'm talking about is having a God centered relationship with the people in your life. How do you do it?

This is been something I've questioned for a while now. What I've come up with is quite honestly, not what I wanted. I wanted a twelve step plan to having the perfect relationship on the first try. The thing is, relationships are messy. Love is a risk. To give someone your heart is giving them the ability to break you, yet trusting them to hold it.

Thing is, we're human. We don't have the ability to hold someone's heart without ever breaking it. It's like placing fine china in the hands of a toddler. That isn't the smartest thing to do. So what do we do then? Never love because we're afraid to get our hearts broken? 

No. What we must do is trust God to protect our hearts. If you place the fine china in the toddler's hands it will surely break, but if you give the china to the mother, with skilled hands, she'll carry it. Just as, if we give our hearts to the Lord to hold, He'll skillfully carry it and guide you in the ways you should go. I heard a quote once that went something like this: "Follow your heart but take your brain with you." God will give you the discernment on who to trust if you ask Him and truly listen to the answer, not letting your own desires cloud His voice.  

The closer we are to God, the more we'll love one another. The Lord will show us who to give our hearts to. Wisdom comes from the Lord and if we seek Him, He'll keep our hearts fulfilled. The closer we are to God, the more our love for other's will look like His. One of the most well known passages in the Bible is in Corinthians, known as 'the love verses' is this: 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

If we learn to love like that, I believe we'll see a transformation in our relationships. It won't be easy by far. If you just skimmed over that verse because you read it before, read it again. Look at what real, pure, Christ given love entails. It's not rude, it always trusts, it protects, it doesn't boast, it's not self-seeking. How many of these have we all fallen short on? I know I have on many occasions. 

If we look at that verse, in a way, there is a plan to better your relationships, but it isn't an easy one. It's something that we have to learn and relearn and continue to practice our whole lives. It's by far one of the greatest lessons a person can learn. The first two commandments the Lord said are "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." 

At the center at every good, lasting, healthy relationship is love. To love is to be brave. 

Are We Really Strong?

Last night I finished reading a book, written by a friend.  

Drakelyn Martin, the Hero of the story is a federal agent, a strong government man, both physically and emotionally, used to stress and bloodshed. The Love, Nichole, is a small young woman who has been tortured for her faith and is in danger everyday. A one point towards the end of the story, Drake was beaten down and defeated. He thought of the woman he loved and all she'd endured and he wondered how she could be so strong. 

What did she have that he didn't?

The answer? God. 

That really hit me. How many times have I thought, I have to hold it together. Stay strong. Don't think. Don't feel. No crying. Quite a few times. Like, all the time actually. 

But by trying to hold it together all on my own, I'm weak. I feel weak. I've told God, "I want to be strong. Why can't I be strong?" 

I can't be strong by my own power. MY strength is nothing compared to God's. Without the Lord's strength I AM weak. We weren't meant to be strong on our own.

After reading that last night. This morning I picked up my Bible and read this:

2 Corinthians 12:5-10

On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

That last line. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." That's so powerful. It's only when we choose to let go of our pride, our "I can do it all" attitude and embrace the fact that we ARE weak and we DO need saving, that Jesus's power is seen through us. 

We can be strong through Him. We can overcome things others think impossible. We can endure and still survive, not because WE are strong, but because HE is strong. 

Paul understood this. He was beaten and jailed for his beliefs. He was, in a sense, 'weak' after what he'd been through. But have you once read any book in the Bible written by him or about him and thought of Paul as weak? 

I sure haven't. No, when I think of someone who's strong, Paul's who I think of. Paul was strong because he trusted the Lord.

Strength looks different in every situation. Sometimes strength IS holding it together when we need to, letting God sustain us. But sometimes, strength is letting ourselves grieve, letting ourselves feel the pain. Then letting it go and moving on. I find the latter is harder then holding it together sometimes. There's no shame in tears. There's no shame in needing help.

God wants us to come to Him. He wants to be our strength. He wants to dry our tears and hold us up when we can't stand. He created us to need Him.

(Disregard the funky formatting. I don't know how to fix it right now. :P)